What Happens to Children During Divorce?

Parental responsibility does not end at divorce

Parental responsibility is the right and duty to make decisions about a child's upbringing. In England and Wales, both parents have equal parental responsibility from the moment a child is born (unless the court has made an order removing or restricting it).

Divorce does not end parental responsibility. Both parents continue to have equal rights and duties — neither parent can unilaterally remove the other's parental responsibility simply by divorcing. If a parent tries to obstruct the other's involvement or remove them from the child's life, the other parent can go to court for a child arrangements order.

Major decisions: both parents must agree

Decisions about a child's schooling, religion, medical treatment, and other major life matters require agreement between both parents (unless the court has ordered otherwise). Examples include:

• Which school the child attends
• Religious upbringing and religious decisions
• Significant medical treatment
• Passport and travel decisions
• Change of name
• Deciding on therapy or counselling

Day-to-day decisions — what the child eats, what they wear, homework, bedtime, activities — can be made by whichever parent the child is with at the time. But major life decisions require both parents' input unless a court order specifies otherwise.

Both parents retain parental responsibility and the right to be involved in major decisions about their child's life.

Arrangements for children are separate from the divorce

The court can grant a decree of divorce and finalise the divorce without having resolved arrangements for the children. Many couples divorce first and then work on child arrangements afterwards. The key word is "arrangements" — not "custody" or "guardianship," but practical arrangements for where the child lives and how they spend time with each parent.

Arrangements can be:

• By agreement — both parents agree and reach a written understanding (a parenting plan or informal agreement)
• By consent order — both parents agree and the agreement is approved by the court and sealed as a binding order
• By court order — if parents cannot agree, either parent applies to the court for a child arrangements order, and a judge decides

When is a child arrangements order necessary?

A child arrangements order is not necessary if both parents agree and are cooperating. Many families manage without a formal court order. However, a court order is strongly advisable because it is legally binding and enforceable — if one parent breaches the arrangement, the other can go back to court.

What if one parent wants to relocate?

If one parent wants to move — to another part of the UK or abroad — the position depends on whether there is a child arrangements order. If there is, relocation may breach the order, and the relocating parent may need the other parent's consent or a court order. Even with agreement, if the move is significant, a new child arrangements order reflecting the new arrangements may be necessary.