What If My Ex Won't Let Me See My Child?

What is a breach of a child arrangements order?

A breach occurs when one parent deliberately violates the terms of a child arrangements order. Examples include:

• Refusing to hand the child over for your contact time
• Bringing the child late or not at all without valid reason
• Obstructing contact by making the child unavailable (claiming the child is ill or busy)
• Preventing phone or video contact
• Moving house or changing the child's school in breach of the order

Genuine difficulties are different from deliberate breaches — if the child is unwell or there is a genuine emergency, that is not a breach. But if the other parent is using excuses or deliberately making contact impossible, you have grounds to enforce the order.

What to do if contact is being obstructed

1. Document everything — keep detailed notes of every occasion contact is refused or delayed, with dates, times, and reasons given
2. Keep communication in writing — use email or text so you have a record. Avoid confrontational tone; keep it factual
3. Try resolution first — if appropriate, suggest mediation or a calm conversation to resolve the issue
4. Consult a solicitor — once you have documentation, get legal advice on enforcement options
5. Apply to court — file for enforcement through the family court

Courts can enforce contact orders — do not accept a breach without challenging it.

Enforcement options at court

Enforcement proceedings: If the order is being breached, you can apply to the court for an enforcement order. The court can:

• Order the other parent to comply with the original order
• Impose an unpaid work requirement (up to 60 hours) on the breaching parent
• Issue a warning that further breaches will result in more serious action
• Make a further contact order with additional protections
• In serious cases, commit the parent to prison for contempt of court (rare but it does happen)

Can you get the child back?

If the other parent is withholding the child and refusing contact altogether, you have options:

• Specific issue order: Apply to court for an order requiring the child be returned to you
• Enforcement with a threat of contempt: File enforcement proceedings; courts can impose serious consequences for deliberate breaches
• Variation of the order: If contact is being systematically obstructed, apply to vary the order — courts may remove parental responsibility or transfer the child's residence to you

What if there is no written order?

If you have an informal agreement or parenting plan but no formal court order, you have fewer legal remedies. This is why getting a formal order is important — it is enforceable. If you do not have an order and contact is being obstructed, you can still apply to the court for a child arrangements order, but the process is longer and more adversarial.