Children and Divorce: Complete Guide for England and Wales

Introduction: The child's welfare principle

In England and Wales, when parents divorce, the law places one principle above all others: the welfare of the child is the first and paramount consideration. This is called the child's welfare principle, and it applies to every decision about children in divorce proceedings.

No-fault divorce has not changed this principle. Whether your divorce is amicable or contested, whether you have reached agreement with your ex-partner or are headed to court, the child's welfare comes first — before the parents' preferences, before financial interests, before everything else.

What happens to children during divorce?

Legal relationships with children do not end when parents divorce. Both parents retain full parental responsibility for every child (unless the court has made specific orders removing or restricting it). The divorce process is separate from arrangements for the children; you can be divorced but still negotiating child arrangements.

Key points:

• Both parents have equal parental responsibility from the start (unless there is a court order saying otherwise)
• Major decisions about education, religion, medical care, and other important matters require both parents' agreement unless the court has ordered otherwise
• Child arrangements (where the child lives and spends time with each parent) should be decided between parents by agreement where possible
• If agreement is not possible, either parent can apply to the court for a child arrangements order
• The court will not hear an application unless it is clear that all reasonable efforts have been made to reach agreement (a MIAM — mediation information assessment — is required)

Both parents retain parental responsibility and the right to be involved in important decisions about their children's lives after divorce.

Child arrangements orders

A child arrangements order is a court order that specifies where a child will live and the times they spend with each parent. It can also cover other issues like education and medical decisions. Child arrangements orders were introduced to replace the old "custody" and "access" terminology — the language focuses on arrangements for the child's time, not on winning a "custody battle".

Child arrangements orders are only necessary if parents cannot agree on arrangements. Many divorcing couples agree on arrangements themselves and never need a court order. But where agreement is not possible, a court order makes arrangements binding and enforceable.

The key topics covered in this guide cluster

Before you go to court: mediation and agreement

Courts strongly prefer parents to reach agreement about child arrangements. The court will not hear an application for a child arrangements order unless evidence is provided that parents have attempted mediation (a Mediation Information Assessment Meeting or MIAM).

Mediation is a process where a neutral mediator helps parents discuss and reach agreement about child arrangements. It is much less adversarial than court proceedings, is significantly cheaper, and allows parents to maintain a working relationship — which is crucial when they will need to co-parent for many years to come.

If one parent refuses to mediate, you can still apply to court — the applicant can provide a statement explaining the refusal and the court may proceed without a MIAM in certain circumstances.

Key principles when arranging for children after divorce

• The child's welfare is first — arrangements must serve the child's needs, not the parent's preferences
• Both parents matter — the law assumes both parents have an important role in the child's life unless there is evidence to the contrary
• Stability and consistency are important — children benefit from consistent, predictable routines
• The child's relationship with both parents should be maintained — contact and involvement with both parents is generally considered beneficial unless there is evidence of harm
• The child's age and wishes matter — the older and more mature a child is, the more weight courts will give their own preferences
• Children are not possessions — the language is "arrangements for the child's time," not "getting custody"

If the other parent is obstructing contact

If the other parent is preventing you from spending agreed time with your child, or is ignoring a child arrangements order, there are legal remedies. These are covered in detail in the supporting guide "What If My Ex Won't Let Me See My Child?" but the key point is: do not give up. Contact orders are enforceable, and the courts take breaches seriously.